Through the window
by treehuggingbran7
Summary: She understood that he needed his privacy,comprehended that he wanted to be alone but what she had seen through Aoshi's window was unacceptable downright sinful. Rated for ADULT CONTENT


Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin because if I did, it'd be rated NC-17

THIS HAS** ADULT CONTENT, LIME CONTENT** --- children don't read and then go running off and telling your moms.

Enjoy.

**Through the Window**

There was no point. No point at all.

He had packed his few belongings and moved out of the Aoiya. He left. Left things behind frayed and the edges worn.

He had left her behind - lying on the ground in her own pool of tears, drowning in her own despair.

There were no words left. What words were there to be said when the conversation had died long ago? When the relationship that could've bloomed became stagnant like a drying river, barring the cracked and barren earth beneath the surface?

She had begged him, pleaded and nothing but a sloping of his shoulders and eyes that pleaded in their own way to drop the conversation - to let him go, was her response. Had he stayed, waning away at her insistence? Had she done this to him? Held him in a world that he never really truly belonged in? Had she drained him of what little life and joy he had left? Had she his self -proclaimed savior, condemned him to nothing less than the purgatory that greeted him every morning?

It had been two months, maybe three since he had quietly informed the members of the Aoiya, that he would no longer be a resident within the paper thin walls of the Aoiya. There was no resistance from the other occupants whatsoever - just sheer surprise and a quiet resignation that there was little that could be done to convince Aoshi otherwise.

It was always her that had to be left behind to pick up the pieces, why was it that men played their games of chess, causing havoc and letting the women with their self-sacrificing and quiet ways to clean up, to sweep the painful memories under the rug, to hide the broken pieces of the chessmen. She didn't understand why he had left, but she took upon herself and did nothing but blame herself.

She told herself lies, that he didn't really want to leave, that he would eventually come back. But days seeped into weeks and eventually turned into months and when she once greeted everyday with hope and a cheerful disposition, she became further and further muted and silent when nothing but the empty temple and the vacant room greeted her with the harsh and acrid truth of reality.

Each time she passed his room, the silence seemed heavier and the melancholic mood seemed even further depressing. It had caused a great amount of hurt, especially at night when the crickets chirped and when she could hear through the walls, the conversation of the other members, their concern, their sadness over her worsening condition.

Did he know that he was her reasoning for getting up in the morning, her salvation? Had he ever thought that leaving her would mean the destruction of her life? Perhaps destruction was too strong of word, but she knew that things weren't as precious and valuable when the one thing she wanted seemed always out of reach. She refused to keep in contact with him. She didn't want to acknowledge the fact that he was gone from their lives- no longer a part of their family. If she couldn't call him family within the Aoiya, then what connection did she have left with him - what other reason was there for her to call him her's? What claim did she have on him? Nothing, she meant nothing to him, just another face in the crowd. Just another person in an overpopulated city.

He had sent an invitation to them when he had built his house, with what money she didn't know and where, she no longer cared. He asked them how they were all faring, and somehow it seemed he had forgotten about her - purposely left her out. Perhaps she was too painful for him to mention? Was he bitter and angry at her that she kept him locked inside a cage when he longed to be free? The other Oniwabanshuu had gone to visit his new house, whispers of how he had done well for himself painfully met her ears.  
She had secretly wished that he was suffering, dying slowly without her. She wanted to prove that he needed her, that she was his source of joy, his fresh breath of air - but again reality hit her hard - and he had done absolutely fine, better than fine on his own. He didn't need her then and he didn't need her now.

But what really worried her, what ate at her day in and day out, was that he moved out because he wanted to be with other women. She could've and would've accepted the fact that he had just plain not wanted to stay at the Aoiya but not the fact that he was possibly interested in other women- no that would've been too much. Too overwhelming, too malicious of her mind to think of such a possibility.

She wondered if he invited different women, everyday of the week, women that were voluptuous, women that were nothing like her.

The stifling heat kept her awake thinking about him. Every night ended with his image, ended with the fading hope that he would be there in the morning. She was restless, it wasn't too late to be considered improper to be out but it wasn't earlier enough to be considered safe. She tossed and turned in her futon and eventually decided that some fresh air would help.

On her way out, she passed Aoshi's room, the looming darkness seemed to creep closer and closer with every passing moment. Had his presence meant so much to her? Had the simple fact of him occupying the same house made such an impact, despite the rare words that were exchanged between the two of them?

She sneaked pass the corridors and left the Aoiya. Misao walked out of entrance of the Aoiya and walked aimlessly into the streets of Kyoto. She wanted to see him, to calm her clawing madness. She wanted to see it with her own eyes that he was alone, completely and utterly alone without her company. She didn't know what she would if she saw another woman in his house, in his bed, in his embrace.

She wondered briefly if seeing those images would be enough to kill the fluttering stammers of her heart whenever he was near. Would it be enough to banish her love? Or was she foolish in thinking that she could ever stop loving Aoshi despite his obvious flaws.

She pulled a piece of paper written in flawless Kanji, it was his letter informing them where he lived in order for them to visit him. She had stolen it from Okina's office several days ago, looking and searching with maddening eyes to see if there were any encrypted messages about her. His nonchalant attitude about her was confirmed in the letter, he neither cared for her nor cared enough to feign interest. It was stark obvious of his feelings for her.

But at least for this one night, Misao would indulge in her favorite sin. She would watch him, longingly trace his features and memorize them for one last time.

She approached his moderately sized house, and light shone from within. She prayed fervently that he would not sense her. She prayed that the months that had separated them had made him forget to pick out her presence. She walked soundlessly to the window that gave a bath of light. She peered and what she saw made her eyes turn wide.

He was there, his shoulders stooped. For a thirty-year old man, he acted like he was seventy. No longer caring about his posture. Was the burden that he carried too heavy for him? So heavy that its psychological weight had this much effect Aoshi's physique?

The table was set for dinner, there were two plates served. Two.

Suddenly she felt she was drowning, she was dying. Her chest constricted. He had company. Her fears had horrifyingly taken life. Tears rimmed her eyes, he had two plates,he had company. Was that the confirmation she needed to move on? Three months - max, three months and she was nothing to him but an irritable memory, nothing but a child that had occupied his life for far too long. Was he that eager to move on? Three months - max. Three, not four, not five, but three. She found it hard to breathe, she clawed at her yukata. She needed air, it was too constricting - she needed to let go. There was nothing left for her. She had lost everything in a mere second, lost her determination, her will the moment she saw the second plate - lost it all. She no longer held it in and she let out a choked cry. The sound of it dying in her mouth as she bit her fist to contain it. She would not alert him. He could not discover in such a state, she didn't want his pity, his false concern, his scorn.

As if on cue, he turned to look out the window - her face peering in on him. Tears streaked down her face, and an indescribable pain etched into her lovely face. Bitterness disfigured her lovely mouth. Her nose and eyes a disconcerting pink color. He rushed outside.

He opened the door to see beneath the dim light of the stars, that she looked paler than death. She looked defeated, pregnant with distress, and an terrifyingly unspoken fear illuminated her face. Her mouth half open, her bottom lip trembling, her eyes wide and childlike. Why was she crying? What had caused this much pain? Surely not his absence?

He had remembered clearly the day he had decided to leave.

Aoshi had left the temple earlier than usual. His head ached with confusion and his heart like-wise. He passed by a row of tall bushes when he heard the soft giggle and the murmuring of a girl's voice and recognized right away that it belonged to Misao. It was not his place to spy, but curiosity won and he peered between the shrubbery and his stoic eyes that rarely showed his emotions, flashed the tumultuous emotions that ran through him.

There she was minutes before she was suppose to carry him his tea, dallying with some boy. The adolescent kid had the nerve to touch Misao's shoulder and whisper some soft and sweet secret into Misao's ear. Again, she giggled.

So freely given her soft smiles and her laughter.

The boy tried to prolong their engagement. Misao looked down and shuffled her feet and looked towards the temple and spoke in a clear voice, " I can't, I have some chores to do."

The boy tried to embrace her but she shifted away - embarrassed. The boy grinned lasciviously - Misao missed the grin. Again the boy defiantly tried to intimately embrace her again, this time Misao flashed a look - Aoshi couldn't make out what it was. She spoke with determination, " Unlike you, some people have obligations that they have to tend to, I have to go to him now. Good day. "

The boy grabbed her by her sleeve and Aoshi almost sprang forth from the bushes to grab the insolent boy and teach him a lesson.

"You promised..." the boy drawled out, taunting Misao.

Misao flushed, looked at her feet again, and replied ,"Yes, another day. Not now, I promise - another day"

He laughed and scoffed at Misao and teasingly said,"I'm going to collect that promise someday - maybe not today but soon, soon enough." Then the boy walked away whistling an indecipherable tune.

Misao stared at the boy's retrieving back, waiting until the boy reached the end of the street and turned a corner and disappeared before she headed towards the temple- towards him, towards her chore.

His head reeled, what connection did Misao have with this boy? Was Aoshi really nothing to Misao but an annoying chore that kept her away- away from that boy, away from  
h-her lover?

He knew he had to free her from her obligation. He knew he had always been a burden on her. She deserved to have fun, not spend her days holed up in musky temple serving him. With that acknowledgement - Aoshi knew what he had to do. He had to leave.

Aoshi recalled Misao's feigned sadness and her false pleadings for him to stay. No he would not be the cause of her suffering, no he would cease her's even though it meant that his would increase tenfold.

Aoshi looked back at Misao and saw her eyes staring in his window. He stalked closer to her, hoping to somehow comfort her. He had never seen her in such a state before, not even after his near-death fight with Okina,not even after he had told her to never show her face again, had Misao seemed as devastated as she did now. She looked lost, as if she had lost her only buoy that kept her afloat in the drowning sea of miseries.

"Is she pretty?" Came the quiet question.

Aoshi stared at Misao, confused.

"Is she preparing dinner right now? Cooking for you?"

Had Misao gone mad? Who was she talking about? His mind tried to put things together, but nothing made sense.

"Does she prepare - " Misao choked on a cry " does she prepare your tea?"

He looked at her imploringly, wondering if she was sick or just plain stark mad.

"Are you alright?" came the only response that Misao received.

She looked at him, her features twisted and she looked demon-like.

"Am I alright? You have - have - a WOMAN in your house at - at night! And you ask me if I'm alright?"

He faced betrayed nothing.

Woman?What woman? Who was she referring too?

"There is no woman."

"Oh?" She replied in a challenging tone, not believing for a second that Aoshi was telling the truth. Had he pitied her so bad, that he was lie blatantly to her? Lie so she would be spared of humiliation and hurt?

"No, woman at all? Is that so?"

Aoshi looked strangely at her. Why was she being like this? What had caused her to become this, this creature?

"Yes, there is no woman." He still had no clue what she was talking about? He had not had any female acquaintances unless one counted Misao as his acquaintance.

She rushed past him, into his house.

He quickly followed.

"No woman at all?" came the bitter response from the overly pale girl.

She looked past him. He wondered briefly if she saw someone that he could not see. Some ghost of a woman.

"Do not lie to me, I'm not stupid" She seethed the words out, her anger barely under control. But still to no avail, Aoshi looked at her quizzically.

"Who is this woman you are referring to? As you see there is no woman. No woman here besides you."

She brought out a hand and thrust it towards the empty plate opposite of his original seat. His eyes widen in comprehension. Surely she had not -?

"Can you deny it now?" Her voice lost the anger and was replaced with anguish.

"Misao - " he whispered in an attempt to placate her.

"Spare me your lies, spare me your pity, spare me the humiliation." She turned, her shoulders stooped just like his.

She stopped at the entrance, she turned back and searched his face for any signs of remorse or regret but again - nothing. Her eyes quickly darted to the extra plate.

"Tell her, tell her she doesn't have to hide anymore. Tell her I know about her. It's okay. It's okay you love someone else. It's okay Aoshi. Don't feel trapped to love me. It's okay."

With that Misao proceeded to walk out of door.

"The extra plate is for you." Came the hurried and pained whisper.

She turned around and croaked desperately, " For me?"

"For you, the house, for you, everything for you."

She appeared broken, overwhelmed.

He stalked towards her and shut the door behind her and dragged her to the seat with the extra plate.

"I always set an extra plate, I always expect you to show up. To claim your love for me. To tell me that my moving out was insane, was stupid. But you didn't, you never showed up until now."

She stared at him in utter disbelief.

" Why then did you leave? Why? Why did you leave me?"

He stammered, suddenly feeling flushed and stupid. It was the first time in his life he had ever felt so. He explained that he had seen her with that boy and how she had claimed that Aoshi was just a chore to her and that she couldn't hang out with her lover because of Aoshi. He said that he left because he couldn't stand the fact that the reason she wasn't having fun and wasn't allowed to be completely free was because of him. Too much suffering had been caused by him, too much suffering for her.

Her laughter rang out clear and true.

"You're a fool Aoshi. A fool!" She continued to laugh merrily despite Aoshi's tormented face.

She went to him, pulled him down so that he would be face to face to her. She leaned in and pressed her forehead against his and giggled lightly.

" I promised the stupid boy I would go on a date with him if he convinced his retired sword smith of a father to make new Kodachi for you. Once I had gotten the promised goods, he kept pressing about the date and I kept making up excuses .Silly, I would never betray you"

She looked into his eyes, and lost the giggle and an earnest and truthfulness flowed from her as she solemnly said, " Never would I betray you."

"Are you certain?" He inquired.

"Yes" she breathed.

He was so close, his breath mingled with her's. His hand lightly tracing circles on her upper arms. He closed the distance between them. His lips barely centimeters away from her ear.

" I also left because the walls at the Aoiya were too thin."

She was confused - too thin? What a stupid reason to leave.

He waited her to show her confusion, to question what he meant by too thin.

She caved in and confusion apparent in her voice,"Too thin?"

"Yes," came the hurried replied," too thin, so when I take you, when I push into you, they'll hear your moans and our nightly adventures will no longer be discreet"

Her eyes widened - he had thought about that? He had wanted to claim her that badly?

"And I never,ever want you to bite your lips too quiet your pleasure. I want to hear you scream my name, I want to hear you moan as loudly as possible. I want to hear you scream my name to the heavens - Aoshi - just Aoshi. "

She flushed, he took no time to press her lips to his.

He explored her soft, wet lips and he groaned, no longer able to control his emotions. His walls that had already started cracking when she had matured into young lady, came tumbling down. He would lose control, and that was exactly what he wanted.

He wanted to be lost between the sweet and tortuous thighs of Misao. He wanted to see her face awashed in ectasy. Too many days he had spent at the temple contemplating the delictable taste of her body against his.

Her body molded to his perfectly and he wonder how the hell he had enough strength and will to control himself for the amount of time he had.

Tonight, she was his for the taking, she was in his house and she would wake up naked in his house and in his embrace if he had anything do about it.

He pressed kisses everywhere drawing into his room.

He laid her down softly on the futon, and his fantasies about her were about to take a life of its own. He knew the instant that Misao wrapped her legs around his waist that his hand would be nothing compared to soft caresses of Misao's body. He knew that he would never experience such heaven and hell in any other person other than Misao.

His hands wandered over her shoulders as they crept between the openings of her yukata. His tongue stroked probingly inside of Misao's mouth. He teased her out of her shyness.

He groaned and his erection hardened further when he found out that Misao had not worn any breast bindings and he came in contact with her bare breast. He took a nipple and tentatively stroked it. He pebbled the nipple and Misao broke from his lips to let out a loud moan. Her eyes half-lidded and her face flushed and lips swelled. She was absolutely seductive.

She whispered," Don't stop" in his ears and he hissed at the words.

He had never felt this hard in his entire life. His erection almost hurting him. But he would take his time, Misao had waited for what seemed like an eternity and he sure as hell wouldn't hurry through the night. He would drag it on so long as he had the strength within him. He smiled in darkness wondering if Misao could see the curvature of his lips, he was glad that, extremely glad that he had left an extra plate out, relieved by Misao's jealously.

He would take her now and claim her as his forever and always. There would be no need for jealously tomorrow - no need for muted words and unspoken thoughts. No need at all.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------A/N : I hope it's not entirely bad for my first lime. I'll try to write a lemon next time, maybe. Constructive Criticism is very much welcomed


End file.
